As a soon to be thirty year old I got to thinking about how one day I will tell my kids I survived the pandemic of 2020. I imagined my kids laughing at me wiping down groceries with lysol wipes that I didnt have to search high and low for. The proud feeling I would have thinking about how I survived a scary time for many got me thinking about another time I survived something.....physical, emotional, and mental abuse. As a proud advocate and survivor of domestic violence I got to thinking of what my life would have been like if I was stuck in the house due to the “stay at home order” implemented across the world. For two plus years leaving for work was my safe haven. When I walked into my job a sigh of peace use to leave my body. Although I wondered every minute I was gone what new girl of the day he would have in our home, it was still a breath of fresh air to know that for eight hours I knew I wasn't at risk of being hit, yelled at, belittled, or embarrassed. I began to wonder what little thing would set him off about the pandemic of 2020 and how he would have taken his anger out on me. I began to think about the punching bag I would have become because the thought of potentially not being able to pay May 2020 rent would have sent him into a rage. I had a visual of of the screaming and yelling match we would have had and how somehow pandemic 2020 was my fault. I imagined the amount of alcohol he would have consumed and how that would either lead to loud belligerent behavior or an argument about me being a prude because I chose not to indulge in alcohol. Or even how the want for sex wouldnt be there on my end but out of fear I would give in because there was always a chance of him sneaking away and get it from elsewhere. I thought about how I would compare my living situation to living in hell and suddenly surviving pandemic 2020 wasn’t at the top of the list of what I had survived in my thirty years on this Earth. I survived what would have broke most. I have a living testimony that some aren’t alive to share. I‘ve survived the worse, pandemic 2020 didnt stand a chance.
Although we are in trying times and many of us are trying to come out of this in our right mind, know that you have survived worse. You are capable and able to defeat this and this cross your baring will not weigh you down. You got this sis, and I got you!
If youre interested in reading my full story please email or message me via Instagram or Facebook to purchase your copy of Surviving in Silence: Overcoming Domestic Violence.
If your or anyone you know is dealing with abuse of any kind please call The National Domestic Violence Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233.
If you are currently stuck at home with your abuser during this pandemic please don't hesitate to reach out to me directly or your local police station for assistance.